Grow up, stay small

Jadyn Heit circa January 2006

So, we know this is textbook child development stuff, but we still look at one another dumbfounded, annoyed, and kind of frustrated when Jadyn displays her "I'm not going to be the baby around here much longer" behavior.. nothing really dramatic, just the completely understandable clinging to what has always been, for her entire life, her turf. HER blankets, HER toys, HER dad.. and no one else's. Yet, we can tell she is excited, and the whole "starting first grade" and being a "big girl" and a "big sister" is an attractive proposition for her, so we can tell, her poor little spirit is torn. Most of the time, she is a big help (my assistant, afterall) and very proud of any kind of responsibilities she has. And it almost breaks my heart to see her as such a mini grown up... trying to shed her old ways, give up her old toys and stop saying those words that we all know she misprounounces, but love to hear, so don't correct her.

I will miss it when she stops holding my hand to cross the parking lot, and I will miss hearing her say "Kah-Koozie" instead of jacuzzi ... "YOU-sick" instead of music, "PACK-pack" instead of backpack... "POT-cicle" instead of popcicle.."LOOS-ually" instead of usually...and there are more little jems I'm sure I'll remember as I post this.

I guess it's just one more time in this life when we get so anxious for the future we don't realize the things we'll really long to have back. Little Jbird is growing into the big sister we hoped she'd be.. and now we almost cry remembering how she has changed. Soon, we won't wish she could read better and wanted to read more.. we won't be pounding our heads with our fists wondering how to get it through to her that "reading is FUN!!" ..no, one day soon, we'll be wishing she wasn't reading the celebrity gossip magazines and her friend's myspace pages.

I wish I was Evie in that one show from the 80s where she could just freeze time by holding her fingers together.. what was that called? And enjoy everything that is perfect the way it is. Not wish for tomorrow , or the next day, year or month.. just enjoy today... because it will all pass faster than we can catch it.